Have been here for 7 weeks plus. Every week I've been here, some concept I have gets redefined. dictionary.com can't help with that, because social definitions of concepts are relative. It feels like a boomerang, me being thrown off-course by events, to rebound to a natural balance, then only to repeat the process. It is tiring, but at the same time, morbidly fascinating. I don't think I recognise the world I left home with now... everything is now topsy-turvy in my head. But then, I wonder what else can everything and/or everyone fling at me. Then again, don't invite trouble. Not that I have... trouble comes to me.
Maybe fixed definitions don't exist. Maybe everything is in a flux all the time, cos the only constant is change. Don't even ask me what I need to be defined, the list is too long, and it will take a whole lightyear to tear down. By then, as Keynes said, "in the long run, we are all dead."
Maybe this is a part of growing up, of becoming truly independent. This year I constantly throw myself into the deep end of the pool quite entirely without meaning to, but quietly confident I will figure out how to swim. I have survived and lived well to various extents, so it can't kill me this time. I will go down, only to come up stronger.
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