No longer.

Since this is the first post of the new year, shall make it a reflective one.

Between my last post and this, I've done 2 essays, gone off to italy for 2 weeks, rushed through 2 more assignments and a test. Nothing much happens in my life, really, that will be of interest to anyone.

It just occurred to me 2 nights ago, how much I have changed in the last 5 years. It is not only the obvious changes, of getting out of the SG education system, getting some work experience, going overseas. People always assume that changes are for the better, but I wonder whether that is the case for me. But this is not going to be a depressing post.

Strangely, I actually think I am more of a teenager now than I was 5 years ago. I am a lot less uptight about things (不计较得失), less obsessed with planning in advance (since there's not much point planning if you expect unexpected things to ruin it), much less a believer in those theories and school work and I don't worry about the repercussions of every decision made. Like a wilful, angsty teenager, I just want to take one step at a time and live life as I want to, never mind the results. Sometimes doing things on a whim makes me happy. People around me talk about CVs, career prospects, house and car. I think about being happy at work in the future and having enough to spend and travel around.
I used to worry about how people will perceive me based on what I read, do and listen. I no longer like to read non-fiction, the exception being travelogues and biographies. Give me a thriller novel any time now. The "me" five years ago explicitly refused to listen to a particular singer and band, thinking that they are just part of a fad and the product of endless marketing and advertising. Then, Linkin Park was playing nearly all the time in the train stations, bugging the hell out of me because I had no idea what they were singing. It was all noise. Now, it's top of my playlist for English songs. The other singer I refused to listen then, was Hacken Lee. It was a case of judging the book by its cover, the singer by his looks. His songs are heavenly, even though Canto makes sense to me 50% of the time and the other 50% I'm reading lyrics. He is also actually quite good looking, but he felt like a big poser with golden hair and all. Back then, I thought only posers colour their hair. I've since done it twice.

This song by Hacken is turning me into an environmentalist: <<花落谁家>>
铁塔以下青翠山岭 化作了石油站
铁塔以上一对鹦鹉 也要各自逃难
铁塔以下都市璀璨 根本不懂感叹
花瓣吹散 谁在乎谁著眼

听说发达只有兴建 盖够八十层吧
听说过活只有改变 变到再没童话
听说进步黑脸琵鹭 尽管牺牲一下
它一张脸 已给你记忆风化

当樱花迫於迁往悄静月球
天高海阔珍惜不够
雏菊都给安葬以后
换到繁荣谁来内疚
只许灯饰普照地球
不许花园开垦几亩
鲜花死了 至感慨爱得不够

这个四月相对乾燥 吻到有裂痕吧
这个八月天气很冷 再见快乐炎夏
圣诞晚上感到炎热 尽管灯饰优雅
当天飘雪 你可会有些牵挂

当樱花迫於迁往悄静月球
天高海阔珍惜不够
缤纷烟花闪照过后
望见层层浮云渐厚
开采山丘斩去木头
花开花落不可拯救
尽管拥有 怕一切变得罕有
(即使拥吻 怕空气已不足够)

But I'm sure environmentalism is probably a fad for me.